did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
