im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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