You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
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he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
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The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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