Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
