just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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