Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Come see our sink grown plant.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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