That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
