from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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