Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
They took my balls.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
