Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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