one might say we're banned from that church
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
