I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
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