I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Can I color on your dick again?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
