Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
