The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize