my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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