There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
