Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize