It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
