when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
This is my gift to your gina
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
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