i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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