they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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