you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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