If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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