It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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