I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
