I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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