This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
