It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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