Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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