so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
