Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Im part way to drunk.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
