Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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