They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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