somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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