i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
should my penis look like a turkey
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
