if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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