He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
