I love black thongs
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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