you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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