she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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