My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
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