You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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