Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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