You really coming over, don't trick.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
