I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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