Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
