The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
