after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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