Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, you know. whores of a feather.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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