I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
