well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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