I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
