just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
