There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
