there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize