ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I will be naked everywhere
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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