I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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