just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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