you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just took my morning after pill in the library
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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