Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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