She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Text me some of your sweat
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
