Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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