Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
i now understand why vodka
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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