think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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