Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
