Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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