If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
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who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
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I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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