Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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