Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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