His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
40s are totally the cure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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